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The New You

Manos Legal Services > The New You

Where Do Pre-Nups Fit In? · Divorced Moms

[ad_1]  Congratulations! You have found love again after your peaceful (or not-so-peaceful) divorce from your first spouse. You have decided that you want to live together and blend your lives, just like in your first marriage when you were fairly young. What do you need to know about baby boomers marrying again? You (and your fiancé) believe marriage is an institution that will support your high level of commitment to each other.  You want to do more than just date, or live together without being married.  You see your relationship as permanent and wish it to be life-long and supportive throughout...

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How a Panic Attack Taught Me I Was Right Where I Needed to Be · Divorced Moms

[ad_1]  My rabbit heart pitter-pattered as the thunder complained above our heads, right on the tail of a lightning bolt that had lit up the weirdly gray sky. “We’d better cover our packs,” Debbie said. I nodded and scrambled to drape my backpack with its, up-until-now, unused rain cover. I fumbled with my rolled up raincoat, sliding my shaking arms in. I was frazzled from an already-arduous half-day hike and pissed off that we hadn’t made reservations at the popular Rifugio Lagazuoi. We’d been fortunate to find out that the next mountain hut, Nuvolau, had exactly two beds left for the...

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I Kept Waiting To Feel Independent, To Feel Autonomous, To Feel Free · Divorced Moms

[ad_1]  “I decree and declare that the bonds of matrimony are hereby dissolved.” The sound of the gavel against the wooden pallet made me jump as I sat in the courtroom next to my attorney. I didn’t cry. I didn’t make a sound. In the silence that remained, I waited. I waited to feel different. I waited to feel liberated. I waited to feel free. Only the freedom feeling never came. I walked back to the seat where my father sat, stoic and quiet. With nothing else to do, we all walked to the clerk to record the judgment of divorce, my...

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Are You Ready To Get Married Again? · Divorced Moms

[ad_1]  You’ve met someone new, fallen in love and you’re ready to get married again. Or, are you? Could your desire to marry again be more complex? “Love” isn’t the only motivating factor when it comes to getting married. If this were true, I know quite a few people who would be married today. Thank goodness they aren’t! When it comes to marrying for the second or, even third time understanding your true motivations for wanting to marry can help you determine how successful the marriage will be. It’s only common sense that if you get married again for the right reasons, you...

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40 Things I’ll Be Doing Now That I’m Divorced · Divorced Moms

[ad_1]What’s on your post-divorce bucket list?   I have a male co-worker who is recently divorced. He put together a post-divorce bucket list for himself. He says, “If I’m going to get over her and get on with my life, I’ve got to keep myself busy and my mind occupied.” What a great idea! That motivated me to start my own list and go to work, crossing through items, setting goals and promoting growth and, hopefully building a new life for myself. How about you, do you have a post-divorce bucket list? What’s on your list. My personal post-divorce bucket list, in no...

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You Maybe Shouldn’t Have Divorced And Don’t Even Know It…Yet · Divorced Moms

[ad_1]It could take up to 10 years for you to realize you should never have divorced.   For those who want a divorce or, feel that divorce is the only solution for their marital problems, time can be an enemy. Based on some statistics, as time goes by, you may begin to realize you maybe shouldn’t have divorced your spouse. There may be some initial gratification but how will you feel five or ten years down the road? Will you regret not putting more effort into solving marital problems? In Minnesota, 66% of divorced couples asked that question responded with, “yes.” On...

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How I Got Over The Shame Of My Husband’s Body Shaming After Divorce · Divorced Moms

[ad_1]Don’t buy into anyone else’s opinion about your body. Love yourself!   For as long as I can remember, I have been very critical of the way I look, the way my body is shaped and the weight I wish I could lose. Needless to say, after having 3 kids (a twin pregnancy in there) my body doesn’t look quite the same as it did when I was 20 years old. The shape of my body has changed and shifted, my clothes fit differently and, there’s a big part of me that still wishes I could drop those extra 10 pounds...

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Why Is Our Default Response To Divorce Nastiness? · Divorced Moms

[ad_1]Why do we choose anger over kindness after divorce?   As a society, we’ve normalized nastiness after divorce. Anger and conflict have become the default response to going through a divorce. But that is no surprise, look at Trump on Twitter using words like, “clown, dummy dope, low-class slob, loser, fat phony. It would seem that nastiness is being normalized in all walks of life. Shouldn’t our goal, once divorced, be to learn lessons and heal patterns and deal with unresolved issues so we can get off the hamster wheel of dysfunctional relationships? Why then, are most of us choosing to ignore the...

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